Ah...unemployment

People seem to be intrigued that I have stayed unemployed for such a great length of time, as if I prefer this lifestyle or something. I get a great deal of the classic, and frankly annoying, comments of "must be nice" in that sing-songy tone that is only intended to imply that my life is crazy good and I should feel sorry for them because, wah, they have to go to work 5 days a week. Because yes my dear friend, it is nice not having a steady income and have to rely on Uncle Sam to barely pay my bills each month. Oh, and it is so lovely to send out over a hundred (that is not an exaggeration) resumes, portfolios, applications, cover letters and the like to either get no response at all, or better yet a lovely letter telling you about how you would be a perfect fit, have killer qualifications, but they really just don't care to even bother interviewing you.

I know I shouldn't be complaining all that much, and that I should be grateful that at least I don't have a mortgage to worry about, kids to feed, I have my health, blah, blah, blah, but I have had to make some adjustments that make it hard to look at the glass as half full. It's not easy when you aren't able to feed your shoe habit the way you are accustomed to. It's also highly discouraging to choke down my well (ugh) whiskey and diet, get chased by damn wasps while washing my own car (finally decided I live in Oregon and who cares), buy my $4.50 hair color (that's after the double coupons), or have to actually budget in a Taco Bell splurge, because there is nothing like an occasional double beef burrito to keep you regular.

Bottom line, it is "nice" to be able to sleep in as late as I want, mooch of my parents more than usual, not shower for 3 days if I so desire, spend hot summer days at the river, volunteer, and have time to read a good book a week. I have to be honest though, as much fun as it is to see how long you can go without shaving your pits, I would much rather be meeting up with friends for happy hour to have a much needed bitch session about how unappreciated I am at work and how much better I am than half the people there. Come on, everyone says or at least thinks that, so don't be judging me. If something doesn't "come along soon" (another comment that makes me want to whistle and skip) I may end up finding my calling as an unemployment support group leader. We'll meet up at the pub with the $1 Pabst beers and kareoke, so we can at least drown our sorrows with cheep beer and bad music.