Times are rough right now, what with the high unemployment rates, health care debates, worries of swine f -oops I mean N1H1 virus, and for us single ladies, the lack of good-looking, fun, honest men who just want to find their best friend to spend the rest of their lives with climbing pyramids, laughing at each other's lame attempts at real humor, having crazy wine-induced sex while vacationing in Spain before coming home to our fabulous flat in the city where our extremely intellectual and amazingly cultured friends come to enjoy a fabulous night of conversation...okay, I went too far, but I think you get the point. Anyways, after little consideration, I have decided to go gay.
I am not writing off all men in favor of the female-persuasion, don't get me wrong, but I am utilizing my gay male friends a lot more, what with my stream of unfortunates lately. I'm not giving up though, I do believe that there is someone out there for me, I just need a little pit stop on that eventual road to bliss. It just so happens that my pit-stop involves being made to feel like you are the hottest chica in the room, late night cuddle sessions, romantic comedies, hot men, and great dance clubs. I'm not pulling a total Will & Grace here, but a little dose of cheeky, neurotic behavior can't be that bad for my single soul.
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Just don't count on your relative, Maggie Gallagher, supporting your right to marry if you do go gay. Because despite all of the problems in the world that you mention at the beginning, she spends her days keeping civil marriage equality away from your gay friends.
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